On this occasion the guy flapping his jaw is a small and wiry, sitting in a corner not so far away from me downing corn like there was never Prohibition with a familiar cow eyed look about him. I hear the name Tommy Two Toes mentioned with the sort of familiarity that can only be attached to close friends and family and bend a lug to listen, especially as the last chin I had with Tommy Two Toes leaves my curiosity dangling like an inmate on death row.

It transpires that Tommy Two Toes is good as his word. Eager to impress Mrs Two Toes and not inclined to deny her anything, the anniversary shindig is a stylish affair. And it transpires that Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed is invited and that there is fruit punch and a fair smattering of aged relatives with Methodist leanings including a Great Aunt Agatha. Now, despite his obvious disconsolency there is no possibility that Tommy is sap enough to bop Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed in full view of Mrs Two Toes and the rest of the Two Toes clan, not least because, being Methodists they would frown on such carryings on. Tommy Two Toes is unlucky, not stupid. So I am more than a little interested to discover how events unfold.