As the cow eyed member of the Two Toes clan downing corn like there was no tomorrow continues with the tale, I listen most intently and surmise that Tommy Two Toes’ meeting that day must have been to acquire a Mickey Finn not designed to engender any sort of recovery and be passed off as the unfortunate outcome of consuming dodgy seafood or some such. However it seems that Tommy Two Toes cannot elude his propensity to fall foul of bad luck. Apparently, in a fit of good humour, or so it is related, he offers to make Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed’s fruit punch a tad more interesting and slips out of sight of the Methodist contingent to add a drop of tiger milk. It transpires however, as is the tendency for such misguided unfortunates as Tommy Two Toes, Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed does not drink the tainted punch but, putting it aside, chooses that moment to dance with Mrs Two Toes much to Tommy’s most great and obvious annoyance. Making a move to chin dance with Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed, he does not notice that Great Aunt Agatha, being a dame of advancing years and reducing memory, takes it upon herself to forget which is her glass of fruit punch, snorts down the one ear marked for Sammy Spark, second cousin once removed and promptly falls down dead.
Tommy Two Toes
